It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want Too
by Sastiel
Summary: What happens when Logan gets attacked on his 16th birthday?
1. Prologue

**Title: It's My Party and I'll cry if I want to**

**Summary: It was a night that was supposed be the best night of his life, it ended up being the worst.**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Swearing, violence, and triggers (non-con)**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, if you think I own this show and these boys, message me. Cause I wanna be friends with you. **

**Authors notes:**** Heyo! Honestly I don't have much to say about this right now other then thank you to my beta's Joby and Saphy! I LOVE you both! Thanks for the help! Also PLEASE look at the warnings at the beginning of each chapter they'll change but the over-all story will be rated M for language and references to non-con. **

"Okay…I know this is hard on Logan, but I wish he could just _get over it_." Kendall knew he sounded insensitive, and as soon as the words left his mouth he wished they could just jump right back in. His eyes grew wide at the expression of his friend sitting next to him. James Diamond stared back with a look of shock, betrayal, hurt, and just genuine _sadness. _They all seemed to pass over James' face at once.

"_What?"_ Was his friends reply to the stupid -_stupid- _comment. But James didn't just _say_ the word, he spat it.

James was instantly on him. He pulled Kendall up from where he was sitting—on a lawn chair by the pool— and threw him against the beige stucco wall of the Palm Woods resort; everyone else's attention suddenly zeroing in on the two friends.

"James—" Kendall tried to explain himself. It's not like he wasn't tired too; every last one of them was. Their friend was suffering, and when one of them was burdened, they all were.

But seeing the fire in James' eyes, it scared Kendall. His form visibly shrunk against the stiff wall behind him.

"_You! _How could you say that? He looks up to you! Why? I don't even know!" James had one hand fisted in Kendall's shirt and the other covering his wet eyes. He couldn't even bear to look at Kendall.

"You weren't even there! He _needed_ you! He called you! You were late, you bastard!" Tears of frustration raced down James' face. "W-why couldn't you have just…_Come!"_

James' eyes were wild. He wasn't thinking straight. He'd been up since five that morning, with his sobbing friend, after another nightmare, and it was all because of _that night. _He laughed. _Oh the irony._

It was supposed to be one of the best nights of his friend's life.

"Who was there with him at the hospital? Certainly not you! What about after? You share the same goddamn room with him! So, why was I always the one to comfort him when he woke up screaming? I was there for him during the painful physical therapy, where he would cry so hard he could barely breathe? _Me!_ Not you!"

James was right. Kendall hadn't been there, but only because, like everyone else, he blamed himself for what happened to Logan that night. He should have been there with his friends, not Jo. He'd known Jo for such a small amount of time in comparison to his friends, that using her as an excuse just…it didn't seem right. James was right, Kendall _was_ to blame.

James stopped to catch his breath. He looked into Kendall's eyes and saw the tears there. But, Kendall didn't have the right to cry. He's not the one this happened to, and it was his fault.

Why did he get to cry?

"Stop!" James barked, making Kendall jump and move impossibly closer to the wall.

"You…" he pulled Kendall off the wall, only to slam him back with so much force Kendall emitted a cry; his back connecting with the wall for the second time, "…don't get to cry." He said with all the emotion from earlier.

"James…" Kendall waited to be interrupted again, but he wasn't. His eyes found his friend as he spoke. "I-I'm sorry." His voice shook with the tears that reflected all the pain and guilt he was feeling.

James looked at Kendall for a moment. Seeming to consider something, he let go of the smaller blonde's shirt. Everyone at the Palm Woods pool watched in silent misery as the teen, their friend, broke down in front of them.

James looked around at everyone, hands on his hips. Guilt written all over his face, he didn't mean to hurt Kendall. He was embarrassed by how he'd let his emotions conquer the best of him, and ultimately hurt his best friend.

The boy, lean, tall, and unusually tan went down on his knees and looked at his broken friend, before enveloping him in a strong hug.

"Don't cry Kendall." James whispered in a soft tone. "I'm sorry for what I said. No one blames you, least of all Logan. So p-please, stop crying." His voice broke at the tortured sobs coming from his friend.

"No. It's my fault." Kendall shoved James away and stood. "It's my fault Logan was attacked."


	2. Late

**Title: It's My Party and I'll cry if I want to.**

**Summary: It was a night that was supposed be the best night of his life. It ended being the worst.**

**Rating: M **_**just for safety**_

**Warnings: Swearing, violence, and triggers (non-con)**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, if you think I own this show and these boys, message me. Cause I wanna be friends with you. **

**Author's notes: WARNING: This chapter contains NON-CON; it is very mild, although it isn't graphic, I want to warn you that it is a very big part of this story and if you are sensitive to triggers please STOP READING. Also, in my story Logan is the youngest and he's just turning 16. Kay? Cool.**

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><p>It was nearly ten-thirty by the time the first person in apartment <em>2J<em> awoke. It was Carlos, the energetic, oh-so-innocent, and sometimes naïve one of the group. At first he questioned his early rising, but not a moment later, he remembered what day it was.

Carlos threw himself onto the floor—by accident, of course— and excitably rolled out of bed, in a full sprint to the door.

In the back, James moaned and began to move. But Carlos wanted to be the first one to say it to Logan. So he stood still for a moment, waiting for his room-mate to settle before opening the door to the hall.

He all but sprinted his way across the hallway to Kendall and Logan's room, and slammed his fist against the door.

"Logan! Hey, hey, hey! Wake up!" Hearing angry yells resounding from both his room and the room to the front, Carlos entered through the door to find two very _-very-_ angry sets of eyes. He just laughed, pointing a finger at their extreme cases of bed-head. He then made his way over to Logan's bed and pounced on it.

"Logan! Guess what today is?" The Latino sixteen-year-old shared his biggest and happiest smile. Neither Kendall nor Logan seemed mad anymore…more amused than ticked. "Come on man! I know you didn't forget!"

Kendall winced at the sound of his friend's excited yells. He loved the kid, but sometimes he just wanted to slap some duct-tape over his mouth and shove him in a closet. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Carlos?" He asked, barely a whisper. "Could we maybe…keep it down a bit? I know it's Logan's birthday and all, but…_please_ man." The teen's brow furrowed when he saw Carlos' face change from over-joyous to hurt.

"Look Car—" Kendall began, but was interrupted by more loud yells.

"Awww, Kendall! I wanted Logan to guess what day it was!" Kendall wasn't actually surprised _that_ was the reason he was upset now.

The blonde looked at his best friend in astonishment. "Carlos? You actually think Logan didn't know today was his sweet-sixteen?" Now Carlos just looked downright confused. So, guess that answered Kendall's question.

"Logan…" he turned towards the black-haired birthday boy. "Today won't be a surprise anymore?"

Logan looked from Carlos to Kendall to Carlos again. He scratched at his forehead. "No! Of course it will, I mean…W-what! Today's my sixteenth birthday?" He smiled at Carlos' giggle. He looked over to the other side of the room at his other friend, who did not seem impressed.

Kendall groaned. "It's way too early for this crap. I need food." He untangled himself from his sheets and proceeded to leave the room, but before he reached the door, he turned around and faced his young friend.

"Happy birthday, Logie." The blonde gave his widest grin and saw Logan do the same.

"Yeah! Happy birthday Logan!" Carlos wrapped his arms around Logan's tiny frame and squeezed. Logan squeaked. "C-Carlos, I...I c-can't breathe."

Carlos' eyes widened. "Oh I'm so sorry!" He let go, and appeared almost ashamed.

Logan flashed his biggest grin. "Carlos. It's okay. S'not like you broke something." The Latino's frown quickly turned upside down and he laughed.

"Come on birthday boy!" He stood up beside Logan's bed and picked him up even upon hearing Logan's protests. "Let's go get some food."

The day was going splendidly…well, considering Logan had only been awake for about twenty minutes. Ms. Knight was awoken by Carlos' excited yells, yet she didn't seem to mind.

She came out of her room and smiled. Greeted him with a "happy birthday" and began to whip up some breakfast. The previous week she asked Logan what he wanted for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as they weren't going to have a party. Logan just wanted his closest friends to help him celebrate, so she wanted to make the day as special as it could be.

She made _Nutella_ and banana crepes with whipped cream. Everyone wondered how she learned to make them and why on earth Logan chose these over something like waffles or chocolate chip pancakes.

"Seriously though, where did you even find out about these?" James, who woke up fifteen minutes previously and still looked perfect, asked shoving some into his open mouth.

Logan glared at him. "Why does it matter? I wanted them. So what?"

"Awfully girly, don't cha think Logie?" Kendall asked with a playful grin on his face. Kendall loved to make fun of Logan. He always took the bait. Carlos never would. He'd just look hurt and confused. And James…Well James wouldn't even listen to you unless you were talking about him or something involving him.

"Umm, no I don't actually. And James, it's a little place called IHOP." Satisfied with himself, Logan took a large bite of his birthday breakfast.

He whispered under his breath. "_Ohmygod!"_ Then he turned towards Kendall's mother. "Wow! Ms. Knight these are so amazing!" She blushed and thanked him, and then proceeded in telling him about how she changed the recipe just a bit by adding cinnamon and more butter.

The breakfast table became more comfortably quiet as they devoured the food. Occasionally Carlos would remind everyone that it was _finally_ Logan's turn to be sixteen.

James had a thought run through his head.

"Hey Kendall, what time were you leaving tonight? Did you forget it was Logan's birthday?"

Logan turned to James and looked at him quizzically. "Wait…What?" He turned to Kendall.

"Oh…Crap. Sorry Logan! I forgot to tell you. Jo made plans to go this concert we've been trying to see for a couple months now." Kendall's head lowered, as he now took a sudden interest in his empty plate.

"I forgot it was today…" He muttered in a soft tone, after feeling the heavy atmosphere.

Logan didn't look upset, but everyone at the table knew he was. Kendall was his best friend. Yeah, they all loved each other, but Logan and Kendall were closer than Logan was to Carlos and James.

"So when is it?" Kendall's head shot up at Logan's question.

"...Well she told me to get there at four."

Kendall closed his eyes. "Y-you're mad, aren't you?" He knew Logan more than Logan knew himself, and it's not like he didn't see the look of disappointment.

Logan didn't answer his question. He just kept eyeing his friend as he was a little upset that Kendall would actually forget his birthday, and make plans for a date on it.

"I'll cancel. I mean, you only turn sixteen once." Kendall compromised.

But, Logan, feeling no one should walk away unhappy especially on his birthday, quickly shouted, "No!" Everyone looked at him, shocked by his response. "I-I mean, it starts at four right? Where?"

"I dunno, just some place on eighth." Kendall shrugged.

"Well how about we do my dinner, or whatever, at nine?" Logan bit his lip, he honestly wanted Kendall to come, but he didn't want his birthday to get in the way of Jo and Kendall's plans.

Logan turned to Ms. Knight, seeking permission. She agreed that doing it a little later would be best but that maybe, eight would be a better time. So Kendall would still make it to Logan's sixteenth birthday dinner. Logan thought about how much he'd miss seeing his best friend there. He wanted to remember this day for the rest of his life, so it had to be perfect.

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><p>It was eight thirty and Logan, James, Carlos, Katie, and Ms. Knight were sitting at a glass table with a bleach white table cloth, along with white cloth napkins wrapping the nicest silverware anyone at the table had ever seen. Katie wondered how much money they could get away with if each person at the table took one piece of silver. <em>Probably a lot<em>, she figured.

The table had six glasses of water. All were nearly empty except for one, which sat in front of an empty seat on Logan's right.

Carlos sighed. "Maybe he forgot." James elbowed him, and gave him a look.

"Or…" James suggested. "…he's running late. It happens in L.A." He reached to his left and squeezed Logan's shoulder.

"He'll be here. He knows how important this is to you. Hell, it's important to _him."_

Logan smiled and nodded. "Yeah, but maybe I should call him?"

Ms. Knight agreed. "Yeah, call him, but if he doesn't answer, we're ordering without him." She gave a sympathetic smile to the boy sitting in front of her.

Logan smiled back and then ruefully nodded. He pulled out his phone and started dialing when a waitress came by and told him that cell phones weren't allowed to be used in the restaurant.

She very kindly told him that there was a spot on the side of the building where he could use it. He closed his eyes. Logan was just a bit upset with Kendall now. He just wished he was there.

Logan smiled apologetically at his friends at the table.

"Sorry." He whispered. "I'll hurry so we can order."

Carlos lifted his head from where it was on the table. "It's not you Logan. Kendall should be here and he's not." He said looking around, as to prove his point.

Logan just bit his lip and again, gave an apologetic smile as he walked away from the table.

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><p>Logan walked through the glass doors at the front end of the restaurant, and found the designated "cell-service" spot. He sighed. It was really <em>-really-<em> dark at the side of the building. He pulled out his phone and dialed Kendall's number. Waiting for his friend to pick up, he heard something.

Spinning around to see what it was, he found nothing. His breathing sped up a bit. It was _really dark_. When Kendall didn't answer and the automated voicemail message picked up, he ended the call.

Logan began heading back. Stopping by a dumpster, he decided to try again. He thought maybe he should text him first. He wanted to leave, "_No, I'm not mad that you ditched me on my sixteenth to hang out with some chick" _text. However, he wrote another: "_where r u? ur late."_

Logan waited a minute or so for a message back, but didn't get one. He flipped open his phone once more, dialed his friend's number and waited. But that's when he heard another noise. This time was so much closer. He looked around in the dark, trying to detect any signs of something that might be wrong.

That's when he felt a kick to his knee. His phone dropped to the ground with a crack. He cried out in pain and reached for his injured leg. But that's when another unseen kick came, this time to his stomach. His curled in on himself trying to protect his midsection as kicks assaulted him from the front and back. Logan had never been so scared in his life. He'd been beat up sure but by people he knew, and knew he wouldn't _die._

Right now though, he wasn't sure. He didn't know what this guy wanted.

Logan was in so much pain. Soon each hit became less painful than the next. He knew he should be feeling something, but the pain lessened with each passing second. He was going into shock. Not more than two minutes ago he was worried his friend wasn't going to show up, and now he might not make it through the night. How could this night turn so horrible? It was supposed to be perfect.

He'd been planning this day since Kendall turned sixteen in July. Now the day, September 14, was forever ruined.

The young teen started to cry. He was scared; he wanted _-needed-_ someone to come help him. He started to scream and received a kick to the jaw in return, successfully cracking something in his face.

"Look at the poor rich kid crying." The man said, mocking Logan. He leaned over to look into Logan's eyes. Logan saw a white male; he was in his late twenties and scary. He half wondered how he could see the man in front of him but then realized his phone still lay open next to him. "Sad cause you didn't get to finish your lobster?" Logan looked through half open lids. He imagined what his face looked like right now. P_robably bloody and disgusting_ he thought. Logan wanted to say something about how much he hated lobster.

The next moment changed his train of thought almost instantly, "How old are you kid? 13? 14?" the guy looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he laughed, reaching for something. Logan heard a familiar sound: a zipper.

His body numb. He couldn't even feel what was going on for a few seconds. But when he felt the warm California breeze on his lower half, Logan's mind started clicking.

_No, no, no! Stop it! Please! _Logan could've sworn he was saying that out loud but realized his mouth was barely connected to his face anymore. The only thing securing his jaw to his mouth was the pale skin of his chin. He shuddered at how long that was going to take to heal.

Logan knew what was happening. He could feel it, and it hurt yes. But in a different way than the rest of his body. This wasn't just physical pain. He could feel himself becoming embarrassed as he listened to the sound of the man above him and felt the jerks with each move the man made; his mind reeling at what was happening. He didn't believe something like this could happen. Not to him, least of all people.

About two minutes later, he felt the man leave him, the breeze soon followed. Just when he thought the man was gone, he felt his body being lifted up. He whimpered, because although he only felt some pain, it was most definitely there. He was in the man's arms for all of ten seconds before being placed next to one of the dumpsters.

The man looked Logan straight in the eye, looked over his body, and then made a noise. He then heard something like an _"I'm Sorry" _before his eyes finally did what was welcome minutes ago. They rolled back into his head and Logan's pain momentarily ceased.

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><p><strong>So guys I am so sorry this took me like 2958 years to update. I'm really trying to get this right because really it's just such a sensitive topic I really needed my beta's to get back to me and what not. Anyway please tell me what you thought with a little tiny review. <strong>


	3. Found

**Authors Notes: Wow. I am so like...Evil. This is not acceptable. I hope you guys like this chapter, just...so you know I updated FOUR stories today so go to my page and check em out. **

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><p>James' feet could not stay still; they just kept tapping at the floor, annoying everyone at the table but him, who noticed nothing. His mind was on the two empty seats next to him. He secretly hoped Logan wouldn't get a hold of Kendall. He didn't think that someone who isn't willing to give up something so pointless, like a concert, for something so important for another person than they shouldn't be included.<p>

James rolled his eyes; he really hated Kendall right now. He hated the look Logan had on his face when fifteen minutes pasted after eight and his best friend still wasn't there, and the face he held when those measly fifteen minutes morphed into forty-five. James quickly shook his head, he realized he was actually getting really upset over this; his hands were clenched into white-knuckled fists. He unclenched them and looked at Carlos. Carlos looked pissed, his eyes drawn together as he kept glancing back towards the doors Logan left. He kept making little grunting noises when the person who would enter the doors wasn't Logan.

Ms. Knight must have noticed Carlos' odd behavior too. "I guess this means he got a hold of Kendall." She pointed to the watch on her right hand. When no one really acknowledged her she looked at the doors, surely wishing for Logan to hurry it up with Kendall and get back in here. Ms. Knight looked just about as upset as us, her son didn't keep to his promise, no one was really all that happy with Kendall Knight right now.

Nearly ten minutes later Ms. Knight checked her watch again. "It's almost nine-thirty." She stated in a tight voice. Both Katie and Carlos groaned.

Katie complained about not having eaten since, their amazing lunch at the pizza place by Roque Records, which was around one.

Everyone was now staring at the door, willing Logan and hopefully, by now, Kendall through the doors.

Finally James offered to go get him.

He pointed towards the see through entrance. "Lemme go see what's what, okay guys? How about you order and we'll order when we get back inside?" James got up from his seat, next to the two empty ones, and started walking away. As he walked away he saw Ms. Knight signal their waitress over.

When James turned the corner of the restaurant and didn't see Logan, his main instinct was to go back inside, that was until he saw the glint of the moonlight off of Logan's phone, on the ground.

His heart quickened and stomach dropped. James swallowed hard as he looked around.

James found no sign of Logan, so he hesitantly walked towards the phone to retrieve it; well that was his goal anyway. When he tripped over something he quickly realized it was way too dark in the alley, he pulled out his own phone and hit a random button so the screen could create some light in the pitch black alley way.

As soon as the light switched on he wished it would switch right off. He cried out at the sight in front of him, his body started shaking almost instantly. He didn't know what to do, all he saw was his friend hurt or…dead, he didn't know which, probably both.

He suddenly got the urge to know the answer to that questions, he grabbed the body in front of him and clutched him to his chest. Feeling his neck for a beat and putting a hand on the boy's chest to check for air.

When he found both, he released a breathe. And then just sat there, he was in shock.

It wasn't until about a minute later that he realized what he was doing. His shaky hands laid his friend back down onto the hair ground.

"Okay…okay. L-Logan, stay….stay here and" he swallowed. "I'll….I'm gonna be right back…" He looked back at Logan, and let a sob loose. But then he ran, sprinted really, back into the restaurant apparently scaring everyone into pulling out their money and taking off their jewelry. He ignored them and ran to his table.

James looked at each of the three people in front of him, not saying one word. But he knew he was shaking, because it was jarring his thoughts. He couldn't think straight.

It wasn't until Carlos got all up in his face and asked about Logan that James snapped out of it.

He raised a shaky, bloody hand to Carlos' shoulder. "He…he's hurt."

And with that Carlos was running out of the very doors he'd just entered.

Not even a few seconds later Carlos ran back. "Somebody call 9-1-1!"

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><p>Carlos was in desperate need of food. He knew he's starve to death if he didn't get anything to eat soon well, that's how he thought about five seconds ago. Before he saw a bloody and scared James run back into the restaurant. James' white dress shirt was smeared with red, it was a terrifying sight, what's worse is that Carlos knew whose blood it was.<p>

It only made sense that the one who'd been missing for nearly fifteen minutes for a two minute phone call, would be the one hurt. So when he ran up to a frightened James, and took hold of his shoulders he had to ask.

"James…Where's Logan?" And at the sound of their friends name James snapped out of whatever trance he was in. "He…he's hurt." And although Carlos had guessed this, the shock wasn't any less real.

What scared Carlos most was the way James told them, if he had run into the building screaming and shouting it, he was almost positive he wouldn't have been this scared. James made it sound like their friend was…dead. But that couldn't be because, this is Logan they're talking about and today's his sixteenth birthday, and…_'it was supposed to be perfect.'_ Carlos thought as he ran past James into the alley he'd just come from.

He could barely see when he entered the alley but he knew Logan was there so, like James, he pulled out his phone and pressed a random number. He pointed his phone at the ground and saw all he needed to see. He raised the phone closer to his face but his fingers fumbled with the buttons and slipped, the phone dropped to the black asphalt ground, Carlos couldn't see without his phone which is what he'd need to find his phone so in one quick decision Carlos turned towards the building and ran.

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><p><strong>*Hides* We learned nothing didn't we? Woops!<strong>


	4. Seriously?

**Authors Notes: This is…A chapter. Yep. I have nothing to say…Wow. That's odd for me. Usually I write so much here I have to come back and like…Delete it. I guess I could just thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and alerted this story. It's means A LOT! And it's only thanks to you I'm still writing because…I have a low self esteem. Kay? -_-**

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><p>One hour in the emergency room and two and a half in the surgical waiting room; is enough time to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. It wasn't so much the white walls of the ER or the brightly colored ones of the waiting room, it was more what was behind the doors of each of those spaces; their battered friend.<p>

James looked down at his perfectly shined designer sneakers and blew out a breath; he was literally going insane. James turned his attention to the sea foam green of the walls, and saw crimson. He knew what was reality and what was not, but, for some odd reason, could only see the dark red that earlier decorated his small friend's entirety. With each blink of the eye James saw Logan's broken jaw, his eyes, the blood; it was all he could think of. He didn't want the images and the pain they brought; James wanted them to leave him alone. He wanted to think about Logan's birthday and how it should have ended. James sighed. He turned his head to look at the friend sitting next to him and gave him a confused look when he said something.

"What?" James whispered. Unsure of why since this was a private waiting room but none the less he did.

Carlos looked at James guiltily, which in turn gave James an uneasy feeling. "I…I wish Kendall were here." The Latino spoke in a soft voice. He backed away from James when he saw the look the name brought to James' features; anger.

"Yeah well…Guess what Carlos? He's not." The teen rolled his eyes. He was pissed Kendall wasn't there; Kendall needed to see first hand, what happened to his friend because of his actions. Missing your friend's birthday is one thing, but ignoring every single text and phone call from both your mother and your best friend's is unacceptable; particularly when it's involving the near death experience of your closest friend.

Ms. Knight was sitting in the back of the surgical waiting room; she was staring straight ahead at the clock on the wall. "It's past midnight." She blurted out in monotone. "Why…Why isn't anyone answering their phones tonight?" Finally, for what seemed like the first time that night, she closed her eyes and sighed a sigh of frustration. She'd called her son nine time_, nine,_ and he wasn't answering. Then she'd tried calling Logan's mother and father and again, nothing, and it was safe to say she'd left them plenty of worrying messages. Their son had just gotten beat the hell out of him and only God knows what else and there wasn't even a text from them. Not to mention it was the poor kid's _sixteenth_ birthday and they hadn't even called. She stood up.

"You boys want anything? I need to try my son again…and the Mitchells." The last part was added for the sake of Logan, she couldn't care less about his parent's right about now. Jen saw the look of utter sadness on the two boys' faces.

Carlos looked at her with wet eyes. "You mean—You mean they won't even… Pick up?" He turned he shared a look with James then turned back to Ms. Knight.

The small Latino started off speaking softly but his tone grew more and more frustrated.

"B-but he's their son…And…He's Kendall's best friend…W-why won't they just answer their phones?"

Ms. Knight looked to James to calm his friend down, not like she'd be all that surprised if he started yelling too. The small teen had a point; the people Logan seemed to trust most were the one's letting him down tonight.

"I'm gonna go try again sweetie, I'm sure they'll pick up this time." She smiled a sad smile; she didn't exactly believe the _tenth_ time was the charm.

When she left the doors she turned back and saw James hugging his friend close through the glass; the boys had tears in their eyes she couldn't bare looking at the scene any longer and turned away to make another call to her son.

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><p>She dialed the numbers and waited, despite the fact that they'd all been texting and calling Kendall all night she figured that if the tenth time was in fact, the charm, then he didn't need to be told about his friend through text. She waited, as much as Logan's condition worried her, she couldn't knock that bad feeling that something had happened to her son as well. She figured he was having fun with Jo but not answering his phone or texts? It wasn't like her son.<p>

When Ms. Knight heard a crack in the line and then a '_heeeey mom'_ she let out a breath until she noticed the slight slur in his voice. "Kendall? Kendall honey a-are you? Oh God seriously, Kendall?" all it took were two words from her her son to know he was drunk. She wanted to cry, there is no way her son's friends will forgive him for this.

"_Whaaa? Mom. No…I'm okay…Whatcha need?" _

"Kendall Knight you'd better tell me where you are right now or I swear to God himself-!" She didn't finish the sentence, just waited for her son to come through with an answer.

"Party…At some dudes house…" Kendall stopped for a moment. "Uhm…Meet me at the Carl's Jr. by the P-woods Kay? Gotta go. Bye mom." And with that the only line she had to her son was disconnected. Now was the hard part, telling the two crying boys in the waiting room that the only reason their friend was hurt was because of her son, and his stupidity.

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><p>When James saw Kendall he felt a murderous heat running through his veins. He wanted to murder the person walking towards him, but, he'd settle for injuring. He got up off of his chair and ran towards Kendall, and as soon as the doors opened he was on him.<p>

"You stupid son of a-!"

"James!" Carlos grabbed a hold of James' arms before he could physically hurt their friend. "Calm down…he's here now."

James scoffed and pointed a finger at the blonde in front of him. "Carlos? He's drunk! That's why _Logan's_ here! Because this stupid ass, decided he wanted to have more fun than we could offer."

"James I'm sorry. I-I forgot." James punched Kendall square in the jaw and looked down at his friend in pure disgust. Kendall fell to the ground; shocked. "You forgot? You _forgot_" he signaled his doubt with the bending of two fingers on each hand." That today was—oh sorry—yesterday was Logan's sixteenth birthday! Well then you, ass-hole, don't deserve him as a friend." With that James stormed out through the waiting room doors.

Everything was quiet when James left. Carlos helped Kendall off of the floor and guided him to a chair. After a few minutes of silence, without even looking up, Kendall finally spoke. "Mom? W-where's Logan?" Carlos head snapped up to look at his friend. She didn't tell him why they were even there; he looked to Ms. Knight to tell her son.

"He's in surgery." She said, point blank, no sugar coating it. "Why?" The blonde asked in a small, scared, voice.

"He got attacked…Trying to call for you." Kendall's head shot up and tears started rolling down his flushed cheeks. Carlos couldn't believe she had just told him that; she looked so mad. "I'm sorry." Kendall cried out, head in his hands. "I…This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't even gonna go…"

Suddenly James' voice could be heard, breaking through the air like a gunshot. "Yeah…But you did." He said, taking a seat in the back of the room, _away_ from Kendall.

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><p>When Logan woke up, he couldn't feel anything. For a moment he thought maybe he was paralyzed. His head wouldn't move, his mouth refused to work; he felt as if he were floating. The more he tried to more the more he started to feel and pretty soon the feeling of nothing became something, <em>pain.<em> He must've made a noise or something because soon he felt a hand on his own and then heard his name.

He again, tried to move his head to get a better view of where he was and to who was speaking to him. Finally his view landed on James and Logan. Logan tried to smile at them but realized he couldn't.

He reached his hand up to his face and pressed two fingers to his lips and didn't feel much different there. He moved his hands to his jaw and instantly regretted it. Logan tried to open his mouth to cry out but his mouth, it wouldn't open. This confused Logan; and tears of frustration started making their way from his eyes.

He felt James' hand again and received a sympathetic look. "Logan…He…You broke your jaw. They had to wire your mouth shut. They said they'd loosen it in a few days but…" He looked down, clearly not wanting to explain the situation. James saw the tears coming from Logan's eyes and turned to Carlos. "Carlos…Go get a nurse or something. I think he's in pain." Carlos left in a hurry and came back within seconds with a nurse a doctor and Ms. Knight.

"Logan? I'm Doctor Wesley. Are you in pain? Blink once if you are." Honestly Logan was just confused, pain, yes? Confusion, bigger yes. But, he blinked which seemed to put everyone on edge. "Okay Logan. We're going to give you something for that. Now…I'm sure you're very confused." Understatement. So far Logan put together the fact that he as in a hospital and that he literally couldn't move anything.

"Well you're in a hospital. Children's Hospital L.A. You were attacked a few days ago and brought here yesterday. I'm going to have you blink when you answer questions, since the use of your mouth and hands aren't available. Blink if you understand."

'_Attacked? Uhmm…No.'_ Logan was even more confused than he was before. He definitely would remember something like that happening, but he blinked anyway.

"Alright. Now I'm going to tell you about your injuries…is that okay?" The doctor waited for a blink. He got one a few seconds later. "Now…" he turned to Ms. Knight. "I'm going to have to ask your friends to leave." He finished and turned to James and Carlos.

"What? Why?" Carlos piped up. He was confused; he'd already been told Logan's injuries why couldn't he stay with Logan and hear them again? He turned to James, who looked just as confused as he.

"Guys. Please, just wait outside alright?" Ms. Knight seemed very adamant about this, so they took one last look at their now, awake, friend, and left the room.

Logan watched as his friends left, he was even more scared now than before. What did the doctor in front of him have to say? It must be really scary if they'd made James and Carlos leave. Then the thought hit him, _'Where's Kendall?'_

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><p><strong>Muahahahahaha! I actually don't know why I would be laughing like that. I just felt the need for it. Kay? Was that totally crap-tastic? If so…Well…there's nothing you can really do about it. Gawd! I sound like a bitch. Review guise! Ooh! And for anyone who was wondering…And I know you ALL were, I take requests now. *Wink wink* <strong>

**On another note: I totally got yelled at on LJ for this story. Apparently I'm stupid and I had my fics f-locked and…I pissed people off. It was kinda embarrassing. **


	5. Begining of somethingTerrible?

**Authors Notes: So...I'm a bad person. I swear I am trying my best to get these stories taken care of. So by the end of next week I'm hoping 'Help! I've Fallen' will be finished along with 'Poisonous Love' and 'Shattered Souls' because seriously...I have WAY to many stories. Meh. Anyway to the story. Hope you like, also I've decided I LOATHE the word rape. It's so, I don't even know. I just don't like it. So don't expect me to use it more than once or twice more along the way. READ ON!**

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><p>Logan couldn't quite process what the doctors were telling him. Something in his chest hurt and it scared him. He wasn't quit sure what was creating the pain there. Logan let one wayward tear fall from his left eye before quickly swiping it away with a single finger.<p>

Logan, finally finding some sort of words questioned what he was just told with a small voice; his jaw being wired almost all the way shut. "I—W-what? N-no. I…I don't even remember_ that_ happening." Mrs. Knight wrapped her arms around Logan and tried to reassure him. "It's okay Logan. Maybe that's for the better." Logan couldn't help but feel the need to slap her. _'Maybe?' hell yes it's for the better.'_ Logan thought; he shrugged her off. "No you're lying. That's…That not somethin' that could have happened. James and—and Carlos and Ken—." Logan stopped himself from saying Kendall's name. Logan wasn't stupid. He knew his blonde friend didn't show up for his party, he just couldn't figure out the why.

"Logan, there are groups to help children through this type of thing-" Logan couldn't believe what the man in front of him was saying. If Logan hadn't just been beaten half to death he's thinking he'd probably already have this stupid ass-hat of a doctor on the ground.

"No!" He tried yelling, to the best of his ability. "I wasn't_ raped_. Kay? I wasn't. That thing…It only happens to girls. Please, can you just leave me alone? I want to talk to my friends."

Logan's pretty sure, or at least hopeful, that he got his point across. He crossed his arms and turned his head away from everyone in the room. And although his intention wasn't to come off as a spoiled sixteen-year old, he wasn't really sure he can deal with their implications right now.

He can tell by the way Ms. Knight says her next words that she's crying. "It'll be okay Logan." He pretends not to see the hurt in her expression when he flinches away from the comforting squeeze he receives from her on his knee. "Sorry." She whispers next, and now Logan is crying too. Because he's pretty sure he's never done that before; flinched when someone's touched him so innocently; it's not like she went in for a kiss. Now Logan knows, he can practically feel the hands on him.

His breathing starts to speed up and soon he realizes he's barely doing it at all. He's not breathing right. He's having a freakin' panic attack, and not only is it scaring the shit out of him but the doctors and Ms. Knight as well.

Soon he starts to see black dots like he's never seen before, and while Logan thinks it's odd that there would be black stars on the ceiling in his hospital room he tries to ignore them and focus on the voice of Ms. Knight; the only person in the god forsaken hospital room he actually _likes._

And although he can't really hear her over his frantic breathing he's sure she's saying something like; "Logan it's okay sweetie breathe everything's going to be okay." So when Logan's breathing starts to even out and the black stars disappear he's pretty sure he can believe it; that everything will eventually be alright.

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><p>When James sees Ms. Knight the first thing he recognizes are the tears still glistening in her eyes; he can't help himself when the worry starts to build itself even higher.<p>

"Logan—" He interrupted with a now smiling relived looking Ms. Knight.

"He's doing fine James." She smiled and then nods to Carlos. "You two want to see him now? He's asking for you." Her smile falls with the next question.

"Well…What—What about Kendall?" James can't even think about Kendall without feeling the need to smash his face in, Ms. Knight noticed this and made her son go home and sleep it off before he could see Logan, not just for Kendall's sake but for the sake of everyone in the hospital.

She hesitates before answering. "I don't know James, honey. We'll see what Logan wants."

"What Logan wants! Logan's gonna wanna see him first thing, and what the hell are we supposed to tell him, huh? 'Oh sorry Loges Kendall, your _best friend_ needed a drink the night you got attacked so he decided to skip your party-get-together-thing and get drunk.' No. I don't think so. No way in hell, am I telling him that, Kendall can tell him his fucking self."

Carlos reaches out and touches James' shoulder. "James…Stop. Okay? Let's just, go see Logie. He's probably pretty scared right now."

James turns around to see the sadness in his friends face; he relaxes a bit. He needs to see Logan anyway; he hasn't even really talked to him since the attack. "Yeah, okay. Let's go see him."

"Knock knock." Carlos calls as they enter Logan's hospital room. "How you feelin'?"

Logan sees his friends and tries a smile, feeling pain in his jaw immediately, ignoring it he wipes his eyes; making sure there are no tears. "Okay, I guess. I mean…sidering." He makes a gestures towards his face. "Wish I di-n't look like this." He tried another smile hoping he'd receive one back but didn't. "Look, I know it's bad but—" He was cut off by James' angry voice.

"Bad? Logan, you were attacked and—and your face and leg and…Logan, this isn't bad, this is—What's another word for bad?"

Logan gave James a look of utter disbelief; hearing he didn't know another word for bad. "Seriously? Uhm, atrocious, terrible, awful-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever, it's more than that Logan. It was your birthday." The black haired boy squinted his eyes at his friend, he was getting a little frustrated with how the day was turning our. "Oh really? Was it James? Thanks."

"Logan—" Carlos tried to interject but stopped when Logan started speaking again.

"I wasn't aware that I was attacked on my sixteenth birthday, the day I had been planning since last year!" This time it was James who tried to calm Logan.

"Okay Logie I get it-" Suddenly there were tears in Logan's eyes and his voice grew louder. "No! No you don't. You…You weren't there." James looked at his friend solemnly 'Nether was Kendall' he thought.

Carlos looked at James, making sure he wasn't about to interrupt, then started talking. "Logan, we were there. James—He was the one who found you. A-and the doctor told us everything."

Logan let his head hang, even though it created more pain then he'd like to admit, he kept his head there for a moment. "No he didn't."

Both James and Carlos looked at each other before the smaller of the two asked for clarification. "Didn't what? Tell us everything? Cause I'm pretty sure—"

"I was raped." Logan stated rather bluntly. He looked at his friends with fresh tears in his eyes; refusing to let them fall.

James is sure he didn't hear right because there is no way something so terrible so, _atrocious_, could happen to Logan, his Logie. "You…W-what?"

"You heard."

"No- No…No I didn't. You…No." James was shaking his head rather ferociously willing the tears that started welling up in his eyes to go away when he heard a voice, a voice that belonged to someone who honestly, right now, James wishes would just die.

James and Carlos whip around to see, "Kendall?

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><p><strong>OKay. You know what! I'm an idiot. I TOTALLY forgot that Logan broke his freakin' jaw! So I had to go in a fix that...So just some of the words are kinda messed up and uhm...His jaw hurts. Wow. I'm terrible. Thanks so much squoctobird and gleechild for pointing that out. I'm so embarrassed! <strong>


	6. Forgiveness

**Authors Notes: Hiya there! So uhm…Yeah Logan can talk. My sister once got beaten up so badly she had her mouth wired shut; I remember her being able to talk and I meant to explain that in the last chapter but…Didn't. Cause I'm stupid. Forgive me? Seriously. I was like so embarrassed. Warning short chapter ahead!**

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><p>As soon as the boys saw Kendall James is backing him out of the room shouting a mantra of 'get out's. Logan's jaw is seriously starting to throb but he still tries to get through to James with his small voice. "James, James stop." He pleads through his wired jaw.<p>

Carlos seems conflicted; go after James or stay with a very emotionally distraught Logan. His decision is quickly decided for him when James gives him a death glare. "I'll be right back." He hisses at Carlos.

The Latino nods and waits for James to shut the door before turning back towards his friend. Logan's eyes are wide and there are clear water droplets making their way down his cheeks. "W-what's going on?" Logan asks.

Carlos knows that somewhere deep down Logan knows why James is so furious, and after what Logan just told them he's pretty sure James will never forgive Kendall. A small part of Carlos blames Kendall for what happened too. Kendall was an ass who should have been there for his friend but wasn't, it was because Kendall was late that they're in this mess and now they know he probably would have never shown up, it angered Carlos to no end. Logan didn't deserve what happened to him. He sat on the bed with his friend and wrapped his arms around him.

"James is just-He's just a little upset right now. I mean, Kendall-He should have been there. It'll be okay Logie. I promise."

Logan started wiping at his eyes with the back of his hands. "It…It wasn't Kendall's fault. He had a date with Jo. He told us that." Carlos had to stop himself from crying; Kendall didn't deserve a friend like Logan. Logan didn't seem to be even a little bit mad at him. Carlos wanted so badly to tell Logan that the blonde had been drinking, that he was drunk and forgot all about Logan's birthday but refrained himself from doing so now; or even ever, it would break Logan's heart knowing that. He held his friend impossibly tighter.

"Let's just talk about something else."

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><p>James threw Kendall into the elevator before walking in himself; he pulled on the emergency stop button. Kendall's a bit shocked, he still doesn't know the full story on what's happened. He knows Logan got hurt at the restaurant and that it was his birthday, he also knows that he's a dick and really wants to apologize to his best friend.<p>

"James what the—" Kendall starts but is cut off by James' furious yelling. "Listen here you self centered bastard, I'm gonna let you see Logan not because I want to but because Logan-Because he still believes you were gonna come. You weren't we all know that now. "

"James…I get you're mad but—" Again he's cut off by James.

"Mad? You think I'm mad? Kendall Knight. I'm fucking furious! I could murder you right now and probably laugh about it. Do you even know what happened? How disappointed he was that you didn't come?" He doesn't really wait for answer; James wants to see the guilt on the blonde's face.

"Kendall, he went outside to call you and someone _attacked_ him. They beat him; broke his jaw, dislocated his knee and scarred him for life. While you were off having fun, at some stupid party with that slut you call a girlfriend-"

"James…" Kendall tried to sound threatening towards James' slandering his girlfriend.

"No Kendall! You don't get to be mad right now! That sick dude raped him in the back of an alley! He- This is all your fault. I blame you, even if Logan doesn't, he probably will once he finds out the real reason you weren't there."

Kendall couldn't quite process what James just said. "He…No…I…It was one drink-I just-" Tears welled up in his eyes as he thought about what Logan went through; about how he still wanted him to be there. Kendall slid down the wall of the elevator and threw his head in his hands.

James pulled on the emergency stop button again; making the elevator go. "You're pathetic, Knight."

Kendall had to agree with his friend, he was. He was literally paralyzed with guilt right now. How could he have been so stupid? He didn't deserve Logan. Kendall couldn't blame James for being so murderously mad at him; he deserved it, and more.

The tall blonde heard a ding and lifted his head to find James gone. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and slowly got up; making his way out through the elevator doors onto the floor.

When Kendall arrived at Logan's door for the second time that day, he found himself not wanting to go in. He wanted to run away from the hospital and never look back but, his friend needed him now; even though he's pretty sure that within a few days that'll have changed.

He walked into the room and smiled softly at seeing Logan. Although the guilt he was feeling only moments ago doubling in size at seeing his face; bruised and puffy from being hit. "Hey Logie."

Kendall noticed his friend trying to smile but having a hard time, he bit his lip, he didn't know Logan's jaw was wired shut. Much to Kendall's surprise Logan squeaked out a reply. "Hi."

As Kendall walked closer he noticed Carlos tighten his hold on Logan and James step in front of him. He didn't even look at James. "I'm sorry Logan…" And to say Kendall wasn't expecting the reply he got was an understatement.

"Over and done with." With that his small friend gave him a weak smile, with all the forgiveness of a saint.

Kendall received a glare from James and a sad look from Carlos; he knew he really didn't deserve this type of forgiveness from his friend, but for right now he was going to suck up the guilt and let his friend heal.

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><p><strong>Crappy chapter. Yes? I know I know. But…The next one is going to be so much better! It had angst and nightmares and…Home! Wooo! Review please?<strong>


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